Bringing the Blog Back

So, it has been a while since I last wrote here. Somehow over the summer, for the first time in as long as I can remember, I fell out of love with writing.

Writing has always been relaxing for me. Practically every single other activity, from socializing to video games to sports to even watching movies, has felt to me somewhat of a chore. In order to escape the chore of living day to day, I wrote. I wrote movie reviews, political commentaries, short stories, scripts (some things I had no business commenting on)... I've tried my hand at just about everything over the years. It used to be that I would write something every day for years on end without even making a precedent out of it. Some of my friends will remember the absurd amount of Facebook notes I would write, down to even writing fan fictions for inside joke short stories. People wondered why I wasted so much time on these meaningless projects that none but a handful of my closest friends ever viewed. The writing wasn't for the audience. It was the way that I dealt with the world.

I'm not sure when it happened, but one day a couple years ago I suddenly realized writing felt like a chore to me. All of a sudden, the day to day minutia of life didn't seem so worthy of my commentary, or perhaps it would be more accurate to say that I doubted whether my commentary was worthy of my time. Writing became more about the audience than it did about me, and as a result I realized that nobody really needed to know what I thought about the 2008 NBA Finals and how they related to the French New Wave (though, to be fair, who wouldn't want to read that article?). Also, I began to focus more on the quality of my articles, afraid that something I would post would somehow reflect poorly on me. Quality control is not a bad thing, don't get me wrong, but it made the process more stressful, which in turn made it less about therapy and more about what everything else in life is all about.

The last week has reminded me how much I love to write. I've completed my final draft of my bathrobe drama, written several movie reviews, and jumpstarted multiple film and radio projects, many of which I am the primary writer of. And for the first time in ages, I don't feel conflicted when I write. I've found a way to care about quality but also find the same pure joy that I once felt when I wrote.

In short, I am rehabilitating this blog as an outlet for my new (hopefully) continuous self-expression. The idea of journaling still has little appeal to me, for whatever reason (maybe I just do all of this for the attention), but I really don't care if nobody reads my blog. In here will (again, hopefully) be my sincere commentary on whatever I feel like writing about at the time. I might post script or short story excerpts and new ideas for projects. I'm kind of hoping to keep a running blog of my first ever experience as a theater director. Regardless of what it is, if you want to know what is going on with me, this will be the place to look for it.